Happy birthday sweet 16 – Words of advice from a slightly older woman

June 4, 2014

To my sweet girl

Happy birthday. Congratulations on making it this far in life. You have developed a beautiful spirit and it shines through. It is such a pleasure to watch you grow. I look at you and think to myself – that girl is going places.

Life can be tough and if you are not protective of who you are, that beautiful spirit can be damaged. There are some basic principles, which I think all women need to understand. These principles protect the core of who you are. They are the foundation that allows you to continue to grow into the amazing woman you have the potential to become. And so I write these from my heart to yours…

Firstly honor your own instincts. Hone that skill. Trust your gut and don’t allow others to talk you into or out of what your instincts are telling you. Before making decisions, take time to listen to your own heart. Trusting yourself first is the key to trusting others. You have already shown me that you have great instincts. Use them. Trust them.

Be careful who you allow to speak into your life. You can love someone but block his or her energy and prejudices. Look at a person’s life carefully. If it is someone you respect, them allow them to show you the way. If their life doesn’t reflect where you want to go, then love them but block their energy. You have a very diverse set of influences around you. Choose mindfully.

Protect your heart. Be careful who you give your heart to. A wrong decision can damage parts of you that will heal but the scar will affect the way you view the world for the rest of your life. You have a very warm, gentle, open heart for the world. It is a wonderful way to be. Hearts like that can get damaged so continue to be open and loving but protect your heart. It is valuable. Choose wisely.

Respond with love. To all situations. A woman has the power to heal, to nurture, to build up, to create life, to restore. Learn to respond to life, to those who hurt you, to messy situations, to all situations, good or not so good, with love. You have an amazing gift. You can see beyond the actions to the root of the pain. Use your gift of healing and train yourself to respond with love.

Learn to forgive but don’t ever allow someone to disrespect you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean letting them continue their abuse. It means letting go of their energy and walking away. It is a skill that will open up freedom in your life.

Make time for joy. Never be too old to jump on the bed. When you are happy, note why. Record what makes you happy so when you are sad you can go and do that thing again and regain your joy.

Remember, whatever you feel, you will not always feel this way. Happiness is fleeting so when you find it, grasp it with both hands and hold on. Sadness is also fleeting. Don’t build a monument to pain. Remember that the sun will shine again. You will not always feel this way.

Believe in yourself. Everyone has areas where they struggle with self confidence but understand that at the core of who you are, you are strong, capable, smart, intuitive, teachable and deeply loved. That should be enough to give you confidence to step out and try.

Try new things. Say yes more often then you say no.

Happiness comes from living a balanced life. Some pizza and some wheat germ. Some gym time and some TV time. If you are unhappy – look for the unbalanced areas of your life. Correct the balance and you correct your happy.

Eat well and exercise. Your health is the biggest factor in your life.

Always wash your face before you go to bed and wear sunscreen. When you are fifty and I am dead. You will think of me and thank me for this advice.

Take time to appreciate the arts. Music, art, theatre and dance feed your soul. Find some way to express this in your life. Make time for your music.

Be the first one on the dance floor – always. Don’t ever hesitate. It isn’t a contest. It isn’t about being cool or showing off. It’s about celebrating life. Go on. When you hear the music play – dance.

Get outside. Bury your hands in the dirt. Roll around on the grass. Collect earth energies and incorporate them into your being. You came from the earth and it is in your blood. Go camping and think of me. 🙂

Take time to savor the moments. Life passes so quickly. Pull over and look at the rainbow. Breathe in the scent of someone you love. Make a memory. Seal those moments in time.

Don’t ever let another kid tell you something about yourself and accept it as truth.

The only opinions that matters are opinions that come from someone who has proven that they love you. People that care more about your well being then they do about their own. Those people can speak, the rest can piss off.

Value your friends. They are precious. If they love you, that is a gift. A treasure. Tell them often how you feel about them.

Believe. The future is yours. Believe it. Go for it. I am here. Cheering you on.

Happy birthday.